Bella Thorne shares personal struggles in 1st poetry book

FILE - This Jan. 22, 2018 file photo shows actress Bella Thorne during the Sundance Film Festival Park City, Utah. The actress has written a collection of poetry called "The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray Vol. 1.” (Photo by Taylor Jewell/Invision/AP, File)

Bella Thorne says people are confused by her and she doesn't understand why, but maybe her new book will clear things up

NEW YORK — Bella Thorne says people are confused by her and she doesn't understand why, but maybe her new book will clear things up.

"People constantly come to me, directors, producers, people that are like in the industry, and they're always like, 'I just really misjudged you. You're just so different, Bella. It's just so crazy. I wish everyone knew the real you.'"

The actress says she's not sure what's so confusing because her life is an open book — so much so that she's written a very personal collection of poetry called "The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray Vol. 1" (Rare Bird Books).

She writes about personal struggles, relationships, sexual abuse, depression and having dyslexia.

"I constantly wonder how I'm so OK because sometimes I get lost in my thoughts of all of the darkness that I've kind of been through, and I wonder where I would be if I wasn't me," Thorne said recently.

She dates a lot of the poems so readers can chart her personal growth and healing.

"That's important. You change your mind, you change your opinion, you change your whole entire mindset, and that's OK because you live, you learn, you get older and you decide differently."

Thorne, 21, was a Disney kid, landing a role alongside Zendaya in 2010 on the Disney Channel series "Shake It Up." Since that wrapped in 2013, she's worked steadily with roles in movies like "Blended" starring Adam Sandler, "The DUFF" and "Midnight Sun" opposite Patrick Schwarzenegger.

Thorne has shed some of the wholesome Disney image, embracing more of a free spirit. She has a nose piercing, recently came out as pansexual and is open about her marijuana use.

"Seriously, I'm an open book. I'm not acting here. Like, legit, I never wear makeup unless I'm getting paid for it or I'm doing press. I literally show every aspect of me. I refuse to edit anything of myself," Thorne said.

She may not hold back, but she is nervous about how the book will be perceived.

"I feel a little scared wondering what people are going to think." Thorne said. "I know that once it's out and once I hear fans coming to me and sharing their crazy stories that we have so much in common and we really are alike, then I know that I'll feel more proud and I'll feel better."

Thorne plans to write a second volume when time allows.

"I've got like two movies coming out, I'm about to film like four movies back-to-back, I have an album coming out with Sony, I want to start working on the second book, I'm writing a TV series I hope to direct, I'm doing a weed brand and I'm redoing my makeup line (Thorne by Bella), head to toe. I'm always out here hustling," she laughed.

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